Hi guys! 

So, this blog will might change. Maybe in near future, maybe not at all. I don’t know. 

You see, I have been visiting my doctor quite a bit lately, and it seems like I’m sick. I just got the message a few days ago. And I am getting worse, so they’re starting the treatment on Monday. I wish I could say that it wasn’t something serious, and that it’s going to be only temporarily… But you know. At least the prognosis is on my side. 80%, more or less. 

The medications I am going to take are rather strong, and I might change. The side-effects of the medication is probably going to affect my physically as well as mentally. I haven’t really told anyone about this - not even my flatmate or parents. Especially not my flatmate. She’s a medical student. I have no idea how to break this to her. Same goes for my parents. They’ve both spent their lives working at hospitals. 

Most likely, I am going to get fatigued. Because I am already fatigued by the illness itself. So there will might be days where I’m not able to do much. 

I’m not saying any of these things will happen. But there’s a chance that it could. Hopefully everything will go on as usual, but you never know, do you? So I just thought you should know, just in case I change. 

I really love running this blog, I do. So I hope that I’ll be able to do this daily as usual. But you know, I think I’ll have to rearrange my priorities. Health first, then the rest. 

Just a last confession: The worst thing about this, is to be alone about it. I’ve told my best friend some. And that helped. It really did. But I just hate to bring people bad news. When my brother got cancer (over 10 years ago - he’s healthy now) he waited until he no longer was able to function normally from the chemotherapy before he told any of us. That day I sweared I would never do the same if something serious happened to me. Yet, here I am. But I am determined to not let it go that far. I’ll just wait for the doctors to give me enough info so I’ll be able to answer all the questions. But at the same time: Alone is what I am used to and familiar with when dealing with problems. It is safe ground to me. 

And know that I am not afraid, and that I do not feel sorry for myself. Not the least bit. I’ve been through worse than this. I do what I choose to do. And I’ll have to take the consequences of my own actions. When it comes to the illness; these things happen. Now it was my turn. As simple as that. It is of course hard and painful, but I expect no less. There are so many people out there who are suffering so much more than I do.

And as I traditionally do, I just keep on rambling when I should’ve stopped talking :P Well. I wish you all the very best, and thanks for reading. I appreciate and love every single one of you. 

Cumberland, out. 

PS: If anyone’s seen this dude

or have his charger

Call me!